you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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