Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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