...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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