you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
