Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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