it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
