please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
