She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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