Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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