okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
