I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
