She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
