i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
