never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
