he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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