Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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