I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
