): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
