Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The air taste purple.
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