1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
