my phone needs a breathalizer
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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