dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
