So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
