it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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