i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
