I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize