I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
