Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
