i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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