How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
