Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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