So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
