I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
