Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
