can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize