First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This is my gift to your gina
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
