I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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