wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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