i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
