we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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