let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
