Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
