Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
