I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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