so that wasnt chicken after all
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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