The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
