my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
