I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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