Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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