im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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