I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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