I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
