I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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