a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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