Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
