I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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