She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
