I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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