it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
