He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize