remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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