ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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