I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
