when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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