p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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